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  • 51% of the population is thinking that they wish they had some dental floss.
  • Woman mistakes cat scratches on headboard as tally marks for man's sexual partners.
  • Musician's song is called "Here's a little number I like to call".
  • Pi worries that he can't fully express himself in Twitter's 140 characters.
  • Battery recounts his near-death low power experience.
  • Cells dividing at the dinner table require an additional table setting.
  • Grim Reaper tells diner to say when as he's salting his food from hourglass.
  • Romance was counted by stars in the sky, but now counted by cat videos on the Internet.
  • God's creation of beg bugs posts gets less likes than his creation of pandas and cats.
  • Therapist tells Donald Duck that ninety-nice percent of population doesn't understand him.
  • Instead of counting backwards, anesthesiologists have patients read itunes terms and conditions.
  • Coach gives player who gets tackled number 8 so that his number can be read upside down.