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  • Mathematician tells mathematician on cell phone to hang up and derive.
  • Harry Potter's book release cause drop in company productivity.
  • A galapagos turtle turns 150.
  • A schoolboy says he made the top 20% grade, but he meant the top 20% of the alphabet.
  • A bouncer pulls a man away from a poker game after mishearing him say he's counting carbs.
  • A woman wants her classified ad in bold with her phone number in capital letters.
  • Piranha is reminded not to chew his food thoroughly.
  • A schoolboy tells his mom he got 110% on his math test.
  • Now that music crosses over into different genre, record store employee uses a genre detector.
  • Boy plays sudoku puzzle on a man's checkered shirt while waiting in line at the store.
  • A kid fakes his report card and his dad said he got the same grades when he was a kid.
  • Revised list of softball statistics includes pulled muscles.