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  • Woman in couples’ counseling complains everything has to be on slow sloth husband’s schedule.
  • Cake watches scary true crimes birthday cake killer documentary on television.
  • Turtle caught hugging other turtle tells angry wife excuse he’s becoming a home inspector.
  • Cellphone couple arguing in bed ends fight when one clicks off giving the other silent mode treatment.
  • Hen wife in couple’s therapy with rooster husband says just once she’d like to sleep late.
  • Female peacock thinks male with only three tail feathers displayed isn’t fully committed to their relationship.
  • Origin of hibernation is bear husband pretending to sleep when wife asks what its Valentine’s Day present is.
  • Mitten suspects wife of infidelity because one of their children is a glove.
  • Dog husband is frustrated by wife with laptop in bed wearing sign that says “Working, Do Not Pet.”
  • Woman checks smartphone app to see how much man spent on her Christmas gifts.
  • Christmas tree on laptop is caught by wife looking at internet porn of naked tree with no leaves.
  • Frustrated woman tells man putting thong panties on vegetables that she said salad tongs.