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  • Excited dog runs to pee on tree in park who expects a warm friendly greeting.
  • Annoyed mom of toddler in stroller swearing at older lady says son has her eyes but father’s mouth.
  • Pet’s distant, detached, dismissive mantra gone when excited kitty’s dad returns home.
  • Neatly folded flat sheet at party wishes disheveled sheet lump date was more presentable.
  • Annoyed everything bagel at bar confronts ogling plain for uneverything-ing her body with his eyes.
  • Stinky planet farting in bed tells complaining wife she knew he was gas giant when they married.
  • Dog peeing on tree shocked when inappropriate Dr. Seuss Lorax says tree enjoys warm urine.
  • Comfy napping kitties in heaven sunbathe on angels’ warm halos.
  • Plague of cozy kitties purring on laps paralyses Pharaoh’s Egyptians.
  • Insect bartender serves female praying mantis decapitated head compliments of headless male at end of bar.
  • Automotive couples counseling therapist tells cars they both feel depreciated in relationship.
  • Messy computer eating snacks at bedtime tells annoyed spouse cookie crumbs are strictly necessary.