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  • A man hurts his arm when he's playing air guitar and his CD skips.
  • A baby is growing up very well, but her vomiting distance is impressive.
  • A man tries to be a successful salesman by noting that he and his client both had hemorrhoids.
  • An anteater sneezes during a meal, covering his date with ants.
  • A man's cough tells him to be productive.
  • Heimlich's other maneuvers were just violent.
  • A tapeworm moves out of one stomach so he can live life in Ernest.
  • Columbus tries to travel around his mother's uterus.
  • Humpty Dumpty goes to a reconstructive surgeon.
  • A man asks a woman at a bar "How are you'" and she talks too much.
  • A man cuts the light cord instead of the umbilical cord.
  • A woman wishes she had something to take her mind off her headache while an alligator creeps out of the toilet behind her.