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  • A man and woman walk alone, holding hands, and the woman believes the man is thinking about romance when he's actually thinking about The Simpsons.
  • Letter E teacher tells letter E parents that child is quiet and uninvolved, needs career as silent letter, parents think Hope and Love, child thinks Trouble.
  • Man on one knee proposing to girlfriend opens ring box to reveal a ringworm - a ring with a worm coming out of it.
  • Derek recovered and only needed 7 stitches after asking girlfriend, who has a large beak, for just one kiss, a peck on the cheek.
  • There is nothing like the sound of child's voice for woman, can opener for cat, tree falling for beaver, and "Ow, my thumb!" for hammer.
  • Derek asks woman if she'd like to dance, she says yes, then says, "Wait, you didn't think I meant with you'".
  • Mother sheet of paper has staples, daughter has paper clips, mom tells daughter she is too young for staples.
  • Stick of gum talking on phone tells friend she hasn't seen Ray all night, and he's probably stuck under some bar stool.
  • One pair of pliers tells another pair of pliers that Billy is being punished and can't come out and ply, instead of play.
  • Father alligator tells mother alligator that their baby is getting big, and he wonders if they should flush her down the toilet.
  • Baby in womb can't wait to get out so he can try out his bungee cord, which is actually his umbilical cord.
  • Doctor listens to pregnant woman's belly, she asks him how many heartbeats he hears because baby is in womb playing bongos.