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  • Piranhas are mad that flesh-eating bacteria are cutting in on their territory.
  • Fish fill their bowl with Alka-Seltzer for a jacuzzi.
  • A man is windblown and beat up because the wind is always at his back and the road rises up to meet him.
  • Mr. Potatohead is in the hospital hooked up to a drip of sour cream.
  • Gumby sits in the waiting room of a gum disease specialist.
  • How cartoon characters' careers ended.
  • A squid's employer randomly tests ink.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy is on an IV of BHT.
  • A man is still taking plenty of rest to get rid of his cold 9 years after his doctor said so.
  • Consumers disregard packaging warnings.
  • A geneticist switches from DNA to jean splicing when his pants split at the butt.
  • Beach vacation photos used to have crabs biting a man's foot, but now they have a needle stabbing his toe.