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  • A man says he doesn't believe in fate, but a clock is about to fall on him.
  • The Wicked Witch of the West kills herself with a squirt gun.
  • The Pillsbury Doughboy dies, and the medical examiner classifies him as a John Dough.
  • A happy reaper kills people with a smile.
  • Two mice exchange Christmas gifts, which are both mousetraps for pest removal, and the husband encourages his wife to open her gift first.
  • Zoo worker tells woman her husband was eaten by alligators, and she reacts with shock, but pleased because she will look good dressed in black.
  • Shoe store employee wonders if a bug died from a heart attack, the giant shoe hanging from the sign.
  • Fish surgeon doctor wants to save the patient in hospital, but doesn't want to be wasteful, so he tells colleague to go get tartar sauce, just in case.
  • A revolver sits in chair watching TV while thinking how he doesn't need a date because it's good to watch TV alone every weekend.
  • Long and winding roadkill is long snake with his body curved and a tire tread mark running over him.
  • Grim Reaper applies for job at Fred's Funeral Parlor, and man tells him that he is over-qualified.
  • Famous last words from Charles Darwin, Thomas Edison, Leonardo Da Vinci, and Albert Bugleweed, whose last words were "Honey, how's your diet going'".