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  • Annoyed kitty rejects cat date’s poisonous flower bouquets, dangerous for cats.
  • Valentine’s texts spelling cupid tooth cuspid, smartphone social media followers flowers, Roman tick romantic & ear hear emoji heart.
  • Angry groundhog on laptop banned from Twitter for violent 6 more weeks winter tweet.
  • Excited cat prefers crumpled paper gift wrap to diamond collar birthday present.
  • Angry man fails writing misspelled New Year’s resolution plan to be more patient.
  • Annoyed digital alarm clock at New Year’s party is left out of fun hand raising midnight celebrations.
  • Sparkling wine says Happy New Year to bottle but it pops cork & says spray it don’t say it.
  • Santa Claus on smartphone fitness app drops from 123 million peak Christmas Eve to zero miles relaxing at home vacation.
  • Couple in online VR goggles give robot arm hugs on pandemic Christmas apart from loved ones.
  • St. Nick flies spread away reindeer socially distant sleigh on pandemic Christmas Eve.
  • Santa Claus buying toys online on laptop adds millions of Christmas gifts to sack for kids worldwide.
  • Autocorrected Xmas spelling parodies Santa Claus cat paw sanitizer, Rudolph rude Frozen snowman Olaf, Elvis Presley elves & frothy Frosty face beer mug.