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  • The hen that lays the golden eggs goes to the doctor because she's having trouble passing her eggs.
  • Scotty beams up Kirk's toupee, but nothing else.
  • A candle lands on a birthday cake in a spacecraft.
  • Exiting the men's room, the scarecrow wishes he had some bran.
  • An alien complains that when he was young, he had to abduct cavemen, whose brains were much smaller.
  • The secret to Twinkies' long shelf life is Dick Clark's DNA.
  • A dragon resigns because he no longer has the fire in his belly.
  • Head lice are worried about receding hair.
  • The Green Giant puts compost on his head to get his hair to grow again.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy is on an IV of BHT.
  • Pavlov's dog keeps drooling as he gets older.
  • Old MacDonald sells his farm animals to a meat wholesaler so he can get some rest in his retirement.