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  • A fantasy line tells you you have no taxes and a big refund.
  • A man criticizes the man who's about to give him a job interview while they're both driving.
  • People get ailments associated with their electronics.
  • Cats think the power button on the answering machine is marked that because turning it off gives them power.
  • A woman can't think of a reason not to go out with a man, but when he calls later she'll have had time to find one.
  • A new phone technology makes you sound like you're sick when you call in sick.
  • Man laying on his back with another man attacking him is on phone with newspaper needing to reword his help wanted ad "seeking aggressive individual."
  • Egg in the bathroom drying his hands reads note on wall saying to call Ellen because she's over easy.
  • Man phones wife, says he's going to be late because he's stuck in traffic, he is literally stuck between two cars.