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  • Father is not impressed by son's three D's on his report card.
  • For Father's Day, Mark's family provides all the ideas for comics so he can have the day off.
  • Dad tells telemarketer he is already involved in a timeshare with daughter.
  • Piano teacher tells student to forget everything about texting to play piano.
  • Flight attendant asks passenger to turn off electronic robot.
  • While being pinned by gazelle, jaguar asks therapist to move up session.
  • New phone app detects burned food and calls for pizza.
  • Driver calling about quality of truck driver's driving rear ends truck.
  • R2D2 often fights with sibling named Am Not D2.
  • The Waltons now say good night by typing instead of hollering across the house.
  • TSA official performing body scan wants to know if the 3 ounce limit applies to bladders.
  • Cats rate online purchases with purr and hiss comments.