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  • The Jolly Green Giant's wife gets fertility treatments of moss, mulch, and compost.
  • A rock goes to a bar claiming to be the Blarney Stone.
  • A fortune teller forsees a woman having a good New Year's Eve, but her crystal ball crashes at midnight.
  • A man who poisoned himself asks for an antidote, but his wife reads him an anecdote instead.
  • A man's trainer is impressed with his shrug form, but the man's good at it because he's been married for 8 years.
  • Charlie Brown plays virtual reality games where his life is better.
  • A tree's date gets awkward when he breaks out in bee hives.
  • A female robot wishes they'd make more female robots so male robots would leave her alone.
  • An airline pilot tries to reschedule his date because he overbooked and is still with his previous date.
  • A spider tries to make his new wife so full she won't eat him.
  • A piece of grass gets bitten by a horse, but it'll be okay because it was only grazed.
  • Fish wives think their husbands are online or on the net.