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  • A candle is annoyed she married a trick candle because he won't go out.
  • Mark takes the day off and lets his family come up with cartoon ideas.
  • A praying mantis watches "All My Children" on the food channel.
  • Medusa gets a trim from a wild mongoose at a barber shop.
  • Orion gets a gift of suspenders.
  • Gumby's wife's ultrasound shows that she's pregnant with a stick of gum.
  • The Jolly Green Giant's wife gets fertility treatments of moss, mulch, and compost.
  • Medusa gets dandruff when her snakes shed their skins.
  • A rock goes to a bar claiming to be the Blarney Stone.
  • A man who poisoned himself asks for an antidote, but his wife reads him an anecdote instead.
  • A man's trainer is impressed with his shrug form, but the man's good at it because he's been married for 8 years.
  • A worm cheats on his wife because he has five hearts.