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  • A man makes a new year's resolution to give his housework a college try.
  • A moose's romantic interlude with a lawn ornament gets on the news.
  • King Solomon wants to have 2.5 kids when he settles down.
  • Movie theaters in New Orleans now offer a spouse locator system using voodoo.
  • Salmon have cybersex.
  • Cartoonist's spouses have nightmares where the cartoonists show them hundreds of unfunny cartoons.
  • Slacker salmon go to spawn at a bar called The Downstreamer.
  • A tired flower regrets marrying a morning glory.
  • Mr. Peanut's last words are "I'll be back in a Jif."
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy plays chess with Mrs. Dough Boy, but it's a stalemate.
  • A spider has indigestion because her husband is disagreeing with her.
  • A beaver wants to move, but he'll always live in the sticks.