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  • Martha Stewart told the doctor who delivered her to save her umbilical cord to make into a meaningful wall hanging.
  • The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe now lives in a Nike sneaker.
  • Mr. Potatohead looks for his tongue in a box of parts so he can stick it out.
  • Punxsutawney Phil's wife makes fun of the size of his butt.
  • A woman brings her famous meatloaf when she visits and paparazzi take pictures of it.
  • A dog in a pet store makes a sign that says "Piddles on Rugs" with an arrow pointing at the dog next to him.
  • A bat was a sparkle in his dad's ear instead of his eye.
  • A cat reads a horror story called "For Whom the Can Opener Tolls" to his kids.
  • Santa wakes up a boy's parents to find out who's been forging his name on lame presents.
  • No one realizes Superman's strength until he plays Pull My Finger.
  • Two boys hack Santa's computer to put themselves on the nice list and their sister on the naughty list.
  • A dog sniffs for presents.