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  • There is nothing like the sound of child's voice for woman, can opener for cat, tree falling for beaver, and "Ow, my thumb!" for hammer.
  • Mother sheet of paper has staples, daughter has paper clips, mom tells daughter she is too young for staples.
  • Family see a bear, man smiles and looks friendly so bear will go after others, but bear thinks he is bearing his teeth and decides to eat him.
  • Husband faxes wife dirty diaper and asks for clean one in return because he doesn't know how to change the baby's diaper.
  • One pair of pliers tells another pair of pliers that Billy is being punished and can't come out and ply, instead of play.
  • Father alligator tells mother alligator that their baby is getting big, and he wonders if they should flush her down the toilet.
  • Older weed tells younger weed if he mouths off to him again, he will reconsider his opposition to the weedwhacker.
  • Baby in womb can't wait to get out so he can try out his bungee cord, which is actually his umbilical cord.
  • Doctor listens to pregnant woman's belly, she asks him how many heartbeats he hears because baby is in womb playing bongos.
  • Children watching National Geographic are scared of mom because mother turtles abandon young, and mother chameleons eat their young.
  • Egg watching TV, show announces that episode of "Julia Child Makes Yummy Omelette" contains graphic scenes, viewer discretion is advised.
  • Several older women chase after Danny because he was born with the kid's curse of having ultra-squeezable cheeks.