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  • Nurse suctioning incision sucks patient's face from the inside.
  • Alien that doctor finds in baby is Dad's Star Wars figurines.
  • Mister Peanut warns buyer purchase may contain peanut traces.
  • A patient getting a tummy tuck asks his surgeon to read him a bedtime story once he's tucked in.
  • TSA official performing body scan wants to know if the 3 ounce limit applies to bladders.
  • Pez dispenser visits chiropractor as contents are out of alignment.
  • Embarrassing text goes to city street ticker instead of doctor.
  • Patient cannot get insurance coverage for his preexisting conniption.
  • Woman disguises passing gas as noise of a sound birthday card.
  • Cat claims it is not fat but simply startled.
  • Cookie monster puppeteer has high cholesterol in hand from cookies.
  • Food vendor that sells binding foods has restroom for customers only.