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  • Paper has to go to the doctor after trying to beat a rock at rock, paper, scissors.
  • A woman throws tofu balls at a man instead of snowballs.
  • Veterinarian has giant cone for wounded giraffe.
  • A businessman's graph is inaccurate because he had the hiccups when he drew it.
  • A couple kisses and the man sees fireworks, so he gets eye surgery to make them go away.
  • A lazy hamster refuses to run in a wheel with his wife.
  • A 50-year-old wizard's most difficult problem is peeing.
  • A bat has to sleep right-side up because he broke his legs.
  • A mouse does poorly in a maze study because he's lactose intolerant and doesn't want cheese.
  • A cat gets in the way of a surgeon.
  • The wicked witch melts after attempting the ice bucket challenge.
  • A zombie goes to the doctor and has no blood pressure.