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  • Bats go to a faith healer to become blind again.
  • A newsman gets eyes tattooed on his face so he's never looking at the wrong camera.
  • Different foods in stomach are told exactly where to go, with carrots headed for the eyes, milk to the bones, and cake to the butt.
  • Skateboarding man with one huge eye wears Have A Nice Day t-shirt, and the smiley face also has only one eye.
  • Man learns not to handle contacts after eating pistachios because his fingers turned pink, now everything looks pink, including walls, shirt, tie, and face.
  • Sock at Missing Persons Etc. reporting mate missing, describes him as her size with stripes like her, says she last saw him in rinse cycle.
  • Sleeping glands include sandman gland that secretes gunk in eyes, peeyou gland that exudes foul-smelling paste in mouth, aaarrgh gland that makes fingers hit snooze.
  • Edgar the capital E lies on beach chair, postal worker delivers royalty check because Edgar posed for the top of the eye chart.