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  • A woman pinches her son to grow an inch before his birthday, and it works because he bumps his head and gets a lump on top.
  • Irony Soap is designed to wash out the mouths of people who swear.
  • A woman accidentally sends her dog to the hardware store and her husband to the dog groomer.
  • A schoolboy says he made the top 20% grade, but he meant the top 20% of the alphabet.
  • A woman gets bowls with TVs in the bottom to keep her family from fighting.
  • Two Inuit women gossip that a big-nosed man is a good kisser.
  • Two parents wear riot gear to protect themselves from their daughter, who is about to turn 13.
  • Monster mom throws sweaters from factory on child.
  • A kangaroo mom tells her daughter to use her inside voice.
  • A pharmacy's antidepressants are puppies.
  • Snowman bouncers shovel misbehaving clubgoers out of the nightclub.
  • The maternity ward has inboxes and outboxes labeled Innies and Outies.