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  • A snake goes on a diet to cleanse its body, but looses its venom in the process.
  • A pear doesn't let genetics determine its shape.
  • Toothpaste tubes remember when they looked good in the morning.
  • A snowman goes to a body sculptors to get his weight redistributed.
  • SpongeBob switches in round pants when he hits middle age.
  • Daily meetings increase the growth curve because of donuts.
  • A restaurant serves a meal designed to break as many New Year's Resolutions at once as possible.
  • Columbus pretends he has a flat stomach on the beach, when it's really round.
  • Cal Ripken gets injured on his way to receive his 'No Injury' award.
  • Cats workout at the gym to prepare for a race of Uber rodents.
  • A dog in a gym needs to be spotted by, and like, a Dalmatian.
  • Tofu and spam are combined, and cause a large explosion.