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  • Flesh-eating bacteria parents' unhappy teenage child chose a vegan diet to rebel against them.
  • The steroid abuse trial takes a sudden turn when the judge smashes the bench with his gavel.
  • Guru asks fellow guru for help picking ring tone: a tree falling in the forest or one hand clapping.
  • An angel peering down at his crime scene complains his chalk outline makes him look fat.
  • Charlotte spells out bacon in her web as a hungry farmer eyes Wilbur the pig.
  • Breakfast cereal icon Cap'n Crunch got his name from doing stomach crunches while working out.
  • A monster sleeps soundly thanks to his Bump In the Night Sound Machine.
  • After Thanksgiving, Orion's Belt is obscured by Orion's Spare Tire.
  • Pet bird practices gymnastic routine discovering gymnastic dismount beyond the pet cat is necessary.
  • Skeleton eyes another skeleton wearing his ribs as vertical stripes for a slimming appearance.
  • Refrigerator IM buddy list alerts midnight snackers to fellow midnight snackers.
  • A man thinks his grass seed is defective, but really the birds in his yard are growing fat on it.