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  • Man screams yes for hockey goal and girlfriend thinks it's in response to her weight question.
  • Anteater has blind date with bird who eats ants.
  • Cat claims it is not fat but simply startled.
  • Cookie monster puppeteer has high cholesterol in hand from cookies.
  • Lincoln sculpture works out and is more sculpted than other Mount Rushmore figures.
  • Man realizes overweight dog stuck in dog door makes home less drafty.
  • Book idea on dogs using selective eating hits roadblock.
  • Man wrongly asks woman when she's expecting and tries to save it by insulting clothes instead.
  • Vanity, gluttony, envy, and bankruptcy car license plates.
  • The Chamber of Commerce is torture chamber for money.
  • Fishermen get photos of fish pumped with air to enhance the appearance of their catch.
  • A whole class of envelopes frustrate a yoga instructor as they are all marked "do not bend."