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  • In desperate attempt to lose weight, woman cuts hair.
  • Turkey's yoga class pays off as he avoids ax.
  • Shark won't eat butt because he is on a gluteus-free diet.
  • Zombies watching The Walking Dead feel bad because they don't exercise enough.
  • Abner liked that he could swim laps alongside his toupee.
  • Snake's new diet is to tie itself into a knot to restrict eating.
  • Big pigs tell wolf he's got the wrong pigs.
  • Mother says thin daughter inherited her skinny genes.
  • 5-hour Enemy parodies 5-hour Energy drink.
  • After racquetball, a man has a racket bawl because exercising made him sore.
  • Flies do laps in pools of soups of the day.
  • Woman thought snowman would be muscular when he said he was built.