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  • A mouse does poorly in a maze study because he's lactose intolerant and doesn't want cheese.
  • A pick your own apple orchard weighs customers before and after to charge them for apples they eat.
  • A school eliminates recess and puts spin machines on their desks to compensate.
  • A lumberjack cuts a tree down and it lands on his friend, but it's okay because it was a balsa wood tree.
  • A dietician says people trying to lose weight should avoid words that will tempt them, so she shows a pita chart instead of a pie chart.
  • The stone with the sword in it wishes it could see a specialist.
  • A hippo mom thinks that the fat hippo dolls are unrealistic.
  • A frog sticks out its throat to impress a girl frog, and a man sucks his stomach in to impress a woman.
  • A dish and a spoon go to the gym and the dish accidentally posts that they ran away together instead of that they're running in place together.
  • The snake in the garden of Eden can't convince his kids to eat an apple.
  • The earth tells the moon that black is slimming.
  • A magician can't do his trick right because his rabbit is too fat.