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  • Father on cellphone too busy to help son color Easter eggs so Ninja Sloth dyes pattern on bald head to punish.
  • Saint Patrick’s Day accessories worn for holiday are leprechaun hat, shamrock earrings, kiss me I’m Irish novelty shirt & unripe green banana wig.
  • Popcorn kernel popping menopause symptoms wake corn cob couple asleep in bed.
  • Old-Ida french fries parody golden potatohead wrinkles are aged to perfection & cryogenically frozen.
  • Confused chicken stranded on mysterious deserted island remembers crossing road.
  • Turkey on laptop with wattle closeup on screen says he is FaceTiming with tech challenged father.
  • Therapist asks man at appointment why he feels old & he says he drove by cows without mooing.
  • Irritated autumn leaf says I fell yesterday when younger leaf on tree branch calls it old boomers insult.
  • Seeing eye dog guiding one-eyed pirate in eyepatch says it’s semi-retired.
  • Russian nesting doll mom thinks smallest child dressed up in bigger layer clothes is adorable.
  • Ignored medium constellation jealous of popular big & little dipper star brothers.
  • Age quiz clothes on stairs undressed in urgent rush romantic sex or trying to get to the bathroom in time.