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  • Man prefers eggnog made at micro-noggery and refuses mass market eggnog.
  • Santa is unimpressed with book Around the World in 80 Days.
  • Couple eats so much, their stomach touch under table.
  • Cats at Thanksgiving might be thankful, but they won't admit it.
  • Somehow turkey knows that Tofurky doesn't compare to eating real turkey.
  • Turkey's dinner invitation gets him a stuffed behind, not face.
  • There's a 10 day waiting period for turkeys to buy deli slicers.
  • Fun to give out candy with extra caffeine to other people's kids.
  • Dad dresses up as mom late at night to steal Halloween candy from son.
  • Boy asks people to drop Halloween candy in his bag as if playing Tetris.
  • Dumb skeletons can't remember if they are supposed to scare children or not.
  • Skeleton wife discovers husband visits racy Internet sites like Bare Bones.