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  • Adam and Eve have relationship trouble when Adam forgets Eve's birthday.
  • Abraham Lincoln always gets the top hat playing piece in Monopoly.
  • Cupid, blue from cold, wants Valentine's Day in August.
  • A man gives a woman a bouquet of flowers whose petals he plucked off to find out if she loved him.
  • A woman gives her husband body armor as a gift because their cat is so vicious.
  • A lazy Lego husband buys his wife a bunch of Lego blocks and tells her she can decide for herself what she wants to make out of them.
  • A groundhog gets a sundial as a present.
  • The emperor is easy to shop for because you can get him empty boxes and he'll think they're full of clothes.
  • Cats throw a surprise party for their friend and he hides under the bed.
  • A boy gets a guppy for Christmas instead of a puppy because he texted his Christmas list to Santa.