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  • Christmas figures stalk a woman to get her to buy things.
  • The Michelin Man admits that being chained up on snowy days made him want to be wrapped in chains all the time.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy defends himself against a vampire with garlic bread.
  • A flat bubble's doctor says he just got the wind knocked out of him.
  • A soap bubble sings a rap song.
  • Police arrest the Pillsbury Dough Boy for smuggling a box of fresh buns.
  • Flowers feel insecure after seeing the idealized version of themselves on the seed packet they came from.
  • Mr. Bubble's doctor can't tell if his wife is giving birth or if she just needs Pepto Bismol.
  • If Shoeless Joe played today, he would stop using his nickname and go for endorsement deals.
  • A man turns down a home alarm salesman because his dog is already a motion detector.
  • A Girl Scout sells a woman a bunch of cookies, then asks if she's interested in the Girl Scout dental plan.
  • Consumers disregard packaging warnings.