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  • Flowers feel insecure after seeing the idealized version of themselves on the seed packet they came from.
  • Mr. Bubble's doctor can't tell if his wife is giving birth or if she just needs Pepto Bismol.
  • If Shoeless Joe played today, he would stop using his nickname and go for endorsement deals.
  • A man turns down a home alarm salesman because his dog is already a motion detector.
  • A Girl Scout sells a woman a bunch of cookies, then asks if she's interested in the Girl Scout dental plan.
  • Consumers disregard packaging warnings.
  • Mall stores now change color once you've visited them, like websites.
  • A man mispronounces a common name, so he should become a telemarketer.
  • An ice cream store has a liquidation sale because their storage system wasn't Y2K compliant.
  • Salmon have cybersex.
  • Taz the Tasmanian Devil speaks at a PR conference because he's an expert on spin control.
  • Extreme sports for everyone include backing out from between 2 SUVs and going shopping once a storm is predicted.