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  • Vet asks owner wearing dirty puppy paws print outfit about pet’s progress not jumping on people but no success.
  • Painfully pulled butt wedgies victim reads survival story to uncomfortable underwear audience.
  • Red nose reindeer on stage preaches he led Santa in snow & fog as original LED light.
  • Motivational speaker dessert onstage teaches different food followers they all end up in the same place.
  • Wicked big pothole painfully bumps riders on city streets tour vehicle.
  • Noisy farm rooster motivational speaker teaches dog & cat audience to wake sleeping owners.
  • Tattoo artist tattooing full body tattooed guy’s legs asks if he’s always had high pain tolerance but he trained with pet kitty kneading lap affectionately.
  • Comfortable kitty napping on Santa Claus prevents Christmas Eve toy deliveries.
  • Dog with ice pack on injured nose says it’s recovering from canine convention meet and greet introductions.
  • Kitty lectures cat audience on unproven cardboard box shape planet theories.
  • Underpaid dog cheated by owner’s half biscuit reward disappointed it earns less than minimum wage.
  • Insect complains mayflies awards memorial speech goes on forever.