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  • Dishonest mechanic outside auto body repair garage pays grocery cart bribe to damage cars in parking lot.
  • Turtle caught hugging other turtle tells angry wife excuse he’s becoming a home inspector.
  • Buffalo driver passes police sobriety test because no part was wasted.
  • Aliens preparing taxes with accountant deduct abducted human as a dependant
  • Snakes can’t pay beer rounds bill at bar because they don’t have pockets so frustrated Saint Patrick drives them out of Ireland.
  • Woman catches cat taking bribe money to scratch sofas from furniture delivery man.
  • President Abraham Lincoln’s honesty is tested by smartphone app terms and conditions checkbox.
  • Doctor tells ghost patient it’s insurance doesn’t cover post-existing conditions.
  • Mitten suspects wife of infidelity because one of their children is a glove.
  • Woman checks smartphone app to see how much man spent on her Christmas gifts.
  • Chart shows sharp drop in skinny jean sales after Thanksgiving during company’s board meeting.
  • Woman at party says skip ad and pokes boring man on nose to get him to stop talking about life insurance.