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  • Snakes can’t pay beer rounds bill at bar because they don’t have pockets so frustrated Saint Patrick drives them out of Ireland.
  • Woman catches cat taking bribe money to scratch sofas from furniture delivery man.
  • President Abraham Lincoln’s honesty is tested by smartphone app terms and conditions checkbox.
  • Doctor tells ghost patient it’s insurance doesn’t cover post-existing conditions.
  • Mitten suspects wife of infidelity because one of their children is a glove.
  • Woman checks smartphone app to see how much man spent on her Christmas gifts.
  • Chart shows sharp drop in skinny jean sales after Thanksgiving during company’s board meeting.
  • Woman at party says skip ad and pokes boring man on nose to get him to stop talking about life insurance.
  • Pinata and piggybank awkwardly discover each plotting to smash the other.
  • Man filing taxes asks what unearned income is and dog thinks it’s cat getting treats without doing tricks.
  • Pelican being audited by the IRS has hidden assets in his beak.
  • Boy sells lemonade and mosquito sells his blood.