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  • Cat views a cat nip commercial, a drug whose side effects include loss of dignity.
  • A parody of Lava Soap called Larva Soup, for cleaner maggots.
  • A parody of Golden Grahams cereal called Golden Grammys.
  • A parody of Extra Gum called Extract Gum, bad for the teeth.
  • A parody of Snow's Clam Chowder called Snooze Chowder, very boring.
  • A parody of A&W Rootbeer called Aww Root Bear. The soda is so bad, you feel sorry for it.
  • Nylonol, parody of Tylenol found only on the black market and a pain reliever made for bank robbers.
  • The Irish Step Dancer clock is named that because the hands don't move.
  • A man flunks real estate school when he can't remember the end of Location, Location, Location.
  • A black cat and a chicken will take separate vacations so one can cross roads and the other paths.
  • A woman wants her classified ad in bold with her phone number in capital letters.
  • Company decides to switch from nickel and diming to quarter and dollaring.