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  • Mother Nature complains that one of her elves made a snowflake identical to one from the past.
  • Jack pads his resume.
  • A can of paint's boss criticizes it for not applying itself.
  • A squid's employer randomly tests ink.
  • A bird conspiracy theorist challenges the Two Birds, One Stone theory.
  • A manager tells an employee to put moldy old bread in the gift aisle as "Chia Loaves."
  • A dog goes on a patch so he'll stop being addicted to chasing cars.
  • A cat doesn't know what name to put on a job application.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy gets laid off and thinks "I'm toast."
  • A crab gets a new position at the company, but it's a lateral move.
  • The food and drug administration writes up a factory for amputating bugs' limbs and putting them in food.
  • The late bird gets to the office after the early birds have eaten all the worms in the kitchen.