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  • Beanie babies are vibrating because factory workers filled them with coffee beans.
  • The cartoonist lets his family come up with ideas for the Fathers' Day cartoon.
  • It's hard to get cherries on the conveyor belt at the cordial factory because they're too polite.
  • Patient discovers cantaloupe as a more effective way to keep the doctor away.
  • The Hair Club for Men stops hiring ex-umpires because they shout too loudly.
  • A restaurant called T.G.I. Mondays is full of miserable people.
  • An IRS agent out of work has a sign saying he'll eat 1/3 of the food of the bum next to him.
  • A man gets his tongue stuck to the frozen screen of his computer.
  • Dogs agree to live in a dog-eat-cat world instead of a dog-eat-dog world.
  • A man's coworkers murder him for making decaf coffee.
  • A woman's resume only says that she can answer Wheel of Fortune questions before the contestants.
  • A woman wants to remember Hugh Schnozolla's name but doesn't notice his giant nose.