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  • Everything in Frosty's campaign slush fund has been frozen.
  • A car is so small, it can run on D-Cells.
  • A man goes from sharing peace and love with thousands to buying thousands of shares of lumber stock.
  • The three wise men bring incense to cover up the smell of baby Jesus' diapers.
  • A cat wants a woman to adopt it, so it wants to claw her furniture and pee on her rug.
  • The newest Pokemon cards are Dontuchem, Setinwaysz, and Stockdip.
  • South Park gets crossed over with Pokemon.
  • Famous art pieces are liberals.
  • Eve wants God to give her liposuction after she heard he removes ribs without a copay.
  • If Shoeless Joe played today, he would stop using his nickname and go for endorsement deals.
  • Stock brokers make their decisions arbitrarily.
  • A Girl Scout sells a woman a bunch of cookies, then asks if she's interested in the Girl Scout dental plan.