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  • Pet owner’s dog looks under refrigerator for remembered treat that bounced underneath in 2017.
  • Piggy bank says gesundheit to ill pig who sneezed coin slot money shot into ceiling above.
  • Gossiping candy canes say candy lady dating rich lollypop driving convertible found a sugar pop.
  • Christmas lights motivational speaker teaches colored lightbulbs are all connected together by electric wire.
  • Shaving company complains bearded Santa Claus hired to promote razors but contract didn’t say shave face.
  • Couples counselor says it’s great kid filled piggy bank dad & money full Russian nesting doll couple switched traditional family roles.
  • Greedy King Midas jumps in swimming pool, belly flops painfully on hard golden metal water.
  • Autocorrected texts change desserts chocolate cake to cape clothing, criminal crème brulée robber, snoring s’more & itchy rash ice cream.
  • Autocorrected St. Patrick’s Day texts change shamrock to shame rock, green beer recycling bear, chocolate pot not of gold & St. party trick card tricks saint.
  • Counselor asks leprechaun in therapy about pot of goals instead of gold priority.
  • Mechanic says knock knock to auto engine & slowly waits for timing belts who’s there response.
  • Dining dog pays for dinner, says least can do after owner picking up poop.