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  • Black out curtain drunks wake in rough shape & can’t remember what happened last night.
  • Tough bare skin Sphinx breed cat with cool born to shred tattoo intimidates furry kitties at bar.
  • Party guest jellyfishes gossip not to stare at balding jelly fish wearing combed over tentacles hair.
  • Surprised pet owner asks older dog why it peed on rug & aging pup answers for nostalgia factor.
  • Finicky kitty stubbornly refuses owner’s everyday and different food varieties.
  • Old dog asks baby if it is housebroken & mistaken younger pet says it goes all over the house.
  • Man remembering checklist in car forgets to turn off his anxiety before leaving.
  • Awkward flaming sneeze burns dragons’ date but he hopes she mistakes it for a hot flash.
  • Father on cellphone too busy to help son color Easter eggs so Ninja Sloth dyes pattern on bald head to punish.
  • Saint Patrick’s Day accessories worn for holiday are leprechaun hat, shamrock earrings, kiss me I’m Irish novelty shirt & unripe green banana wig.
  • Popcorn kernel popping menopause symptoms wake corn cob couple asleep in bed.
  • Old-Ida french fries parody golden potatohead wrinkles are aged to perfection & cryogenically frozen.