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  • A doll called Realistic Rachel cries, vomits, screams, and comes with a home mortgage like a real baby.
  • A kid thinks he has frostbite after a snowman bites him.
  • A man brings his baby to the dry cleaner to get it laundered.
  • A young Stephen King is disappointed to get candy in his stocking instead of a severed foot.
  • A baby is growing up very well, but her vomiting distance is impressive.
  • An alarm clock feels obsolete when a family's new baby wakes them up.
  • The tin man family says grease instead of grace.
  • A baby thinks his dad needs a drool bib while watching women's volleyball and Baywatch.
  • Whistler's mother wishes he would just kick like other babies.
  • A wallaby gets an inferiority complex when its mom carries it in a fanny pack.
  • A man tells his secretary to leave his little brother a memo that says "did too."