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Depressed sliced bread on psychologist’s couch tells therapist it misses being the best thing.
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Witches think another witch injected her warts with collagen.
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Dog believes he is a goose that lays golden eggs as owner always collects his poop.
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A dog flatters a person with a saliva lick.
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A kid claiming to be a band's biggest fan exclaims he pirated all of their music.