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  • A horse gets arrested for drunk driving because his buddies lead him to a watering hole but didn't make him drink.
  • A camera tells his wife to stop complaining about her hot flashes.
  • A woman thinks someone has toilet papered her house, but it's just her daughter's long Christmas wish list.
  • Overprotective lemming parents want their son to wait half an hour after eating before throwing himself off a cliff.
  • The Pillsbury Dough Boy reaches puberty and grows mold on his chest.
  • A schoolteacher for a class of animals passes a troublemaking buck because she doesn't want to deal with him two years in a row.
  • Frogs get their tongues tied together while kissing.
  • A dog doesn't know whether to shake his date's paw or sniff her goodnight.
  • Seinfeld responds to every question with "nothing" through his life.
  • Bill Gates tries to license his childhood drawing.
  • A leech rebels against its parents by moving out.
  • A woman says excitement ran through her spine when she got pierced, but a man says it ran down his leg.