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  • Cat played with mouse and killed it before giving it to wife.
  • Porcupine gets passive-aggressive gift of coupon good for a hug.
  • Mark Zuckerberg constantly changes like his Facebook platform.
  • Laptop is shocked about number of laps girlfriend has been on.
  • Worm without partner realizes that he's reproducing asexually tonight.
  • Papa Bear hires Goldilocks to eat porridge so that he can order pizza.
  • Friend interferes with Dwight's pass at girl by mentioning his rash.
  • Fish likes washer but dryer doesn't dry clothes underwater.
  • Boyfriend texts shocked flower a picture of his stamen.
  • Husband complains outside panel so wife can't read it.
  • Soft serve wife admires hard packed ice cream cone's physique.
  • New dad exclaims he has a paper jam with the baby wipes.