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  • Cat gives cat a flower as a symbol of their love of killing plants.
  • Superman uses his x-ray vision to pick all the caramels out of the candy box.
  • Therapist is impressed gloves stayed together for the entire season.
  • Cat thinks his present of a dead mouse is better because it is a real heart.
  • Nostradamus accurately predicts husband will spill marinara on new shirt.
  • Wife sends Grim Reaper text asking him to buy chocolate.
  • Snoopy gets his name from spying on his friends.
  • Cat used to play with mouse before eating it.
  • Beer mug becomes frosty when boyfriend calls her stout.
  • Wife is disappointed housefly never wants to go out.
  • Nothing appears under the Christmas tree because all the gifts are digital downloads.
  • Dog cries over bowl present being empty.