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  • A man yells to his wife that the new massaging showerhead is scaring him with its hands.
  • Dodos go extinct on Noah's Arc because one of them believes in zero population growth.
  • Godzilla flosses with people holding a rope at the dinner table.
  • A girl can't see her boyfriend any more because he lives underneath the train tracks.
  • Devil couple in hell fire home loves red eyes photos much better with new cameras demon eye features.
  • Mrs. Claus is excited for her Christmas gift, but Santa forgot to get her one.
  • A snake runs out of wrapping paper, so he wraps a present for his wife in his shed skin.
  • A fruit dies and his wife has him turned into a fruitcake instead of burying him.
  • A woman says it's funny that turkeys are so stupid they drown while looking up in rain, but her husband is drowning because he looked up in the shower.
  • A lazy cat dad puts a sign for free kittens out in his yard.
  • A woman tells her husband to put his best foot forward at a job interview, but one of his feet is rotten and disgusting.
  • To protect birds from dying from eating rice thrown at wedding, induce vomiting.