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  • Key reads scary story to small keys on a stormy night, book is called, "The Skeleton Key."
  • Mother magic marker tells son he's not leaving house without cap because 90% of his moisture escapes through his head.
  • Captain Kirk has retired, answers door to see alien woman and alien child, thinks to himself, "Oh, God, not another paternity suit."
  • Mom tells daughter ants crawled through floorboards, got into her casserole, Dad is taking care of them, while Dad gives the ants Pepto Bismol.
  • A child Leaning Tower of Pisa sits on sofa, his mom yells at him to sit up straight or he'll ruin his posture.
  • Child asks mom how Santa will get in house since they have no chimney, Santa is on the roof with an axe.
  • Mom worried about son, Joey, because he just got done sitting on Count Santa's lap, he looks pale, nervous, and something is wrong with neck.
  • The maternity ward for skeletons is full of tiny skeleton heads and crossbones, dad skeleton and child skeleton are looking in window.
  • Mailman delivering bag full of babies thinks that storks shouldn't get vacations.
  • Flea real estate agent tells flea couple woman's big head of hair is perfect place to start family because of space and privacy.
  • Mr. Potatohead scolds son, Oscar, for using the f-word, Oscar had said French fries.
  • Mother mentions twins with cloning machine, Dad realizes they don't have twins.