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Groundhog learns shadows make shaded smartphone screens much easier to read.
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Doctor diagnoses chimney soot covered Santa Claus’ Christmas season flue flu illness.
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Doctor assures Christmas tree that red dangly things are common symptoms this time of year.
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Annoyed man complains Xmas early before Thanksgiving but overwhelmed day after not ready for holiday.
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Sun in sky shaves arm pit light rays hairs with razor on Daylight Savings Time morning.
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Man in hospital with flowers blooming in ears’ physician diagnoses blooming earbuds.
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Man on skis outdoors tells collapsed exhausted skier cross country skiing not actually across whole countries.
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No coal protesting faceless snowman sacrifices environment polluting greenhouse gas fossil fuel eyes, mouth & button.
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Punk rock musician woodchuck performs onstage concert for Groundhog Day fans audience crowd.
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Injured snowman on laptop WebMD.com online medical web site steals snow man’s head to ice neck injury.
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Snowman flirts with snow lady at bar with compatible water sign zodiac astrology pick-up lines.
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Cartoonist imagines self as cold complaining Santa refusing to deliver toys Christmas Eve.
