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  • Russian nesting doll compliments doll’s lost weight and she answers her kids moved out.
  • Infant refuses bottle feeding dad, prefers mother’s locally sourced breasts milk.
  • Pumpkin fortuneteller predicts pumpkin approached by carving knife will lose weight.
  • Customers are arrested for crimes breaking food usage rules in Consumer Reports parody.

  • Godzilla wearing eat locals t-shirt devours local people in demolished city.
  • Dieting snake with six tiny and one big bulge in stomach tells other snake it was good all week so today is my cheat day.
  • Cat on laptop computer suggests finicky diet website but dog says can’t see it working for him.
  • Psychologist tells groundhog therapy will help his shadow fears as scary clowns sneak up behind him.
  • Colored paint splatters cover pranked man’s face and clothes in paintball pinball game joke.
  • Man reads list of red ink altered New Year resolutions changed to dogs’ wants as dog naps with marker.
  • Santa’s smartphone fitness app says his Body Mass Index is bowl full of jelly.
  • Large potted house plant is discouraged it wont fit into smaller pots in closet again.


You searched for: diet