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  • Pet owner walks in awkward chair squat to appointment with kitty asleep on lap.
  • Boyfriend wears garish clashing clothes because cat napping in basket prevented washing laundry.
  • Bigger hydrated grape tells tiny wrinkled raisins it moisturizes.
  • Cop says arrested man has right to remain silent but criminal says smelly fart smell was his idea.
  • Summer autocorrected sunken sand castle, surfing pig surf board, guilt confessing concession stand & balding hair head volleyball.
  • Tired wife with morning coffee & bathrobe on dock not a mooring person as sunken boat drifts away frustrating mad husband.
  • Expired older Humpty Dumpty apologizes to surprised lover for disappointing sexual performance with past best by dates excuse.
  • Veggies denying child refuses to eat dinner vegetables, tells mother he has asparagus hesitancy.
  • Robot in driverless car pulled over tells police it can’t see crosswalks or traffic lights unsafe driving excuse.
  • Cat destroying couch tells owner not to listen to fake news.
  • Flower bartender tells daisy drinking light beers isn’t how photosynthesis works.
  • Overweight nutcracker eating doughnuts tells other nutcracker they count as nuts.


You searched for: excuses