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The Pillsbury Dough Boy forgets to flour his chair before sitting down.
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A moose's romantic interlude with a lawn ornament gets on the news.
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King Solomon wants to have 2.5 kids when he settles down.
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Salmon have cybersex.
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A geneticist is angry that a restaurant's twin lobster special contains lobsters who aren't related.
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Cartoonist's spouses have nightmares where the cartoonists show them hundreds of unfunny cartoons.
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A man thinks this is the first time he's seen a woman without her dog, but really it's the first time he's seen her with her legs shaved.
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A tired flower regrets marrying a morning glory.
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Mr. Peanut's last words are "I'll be back in a Jif."
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A woman on a date with an ugly man says she refuses to be an accomplice to passing on his genes.
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A beaver wants to move, but he'll always live in the sticks.
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A candle is annoyed she married a trick candle because he won't go out.
