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Annoyed snake with smartphone fitness tracker app sees zero steps yesterday and today.
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Family knocking on door is suspicious when mom in bed with wine and book says she’s wrapping presents after Christmas.
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Small doll in Russian matryoshka tells other nesting doll to dress in layers when it’s cold.
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Man on smartphone in room full of cat hair says he spent less on heat than expected and cat thinks “you’re welcome.”
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Counselor asks depressed word the in therapy if it was removed from Facebook before it got big.
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Grossed out boy plays with peeing Tickle Me Elmo parody Sesame Street toy.
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Man shopping choses quiet toys for his kids or noisy toys for someone else’s children store display.
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Sad Christmas ornaments left in the box hope for next year in support group.
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Drunk loaded dishwasher at bar New Year’s Eve slurs can fit another glass but bartender refuses.
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Flower bartender tells daisy drinking light beers isn’t how photosynthesis works.
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Snowman therapist asks snowmen with poked in chests in couples counseling if they push each other’s buttons.
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Suspicious snowman sees salted foods on computer browser history as wife brings him a snack.
